Thursday, September 22, 2011

Two Decades

Sometimes I'll go through my blog as if I was a reader myself, just to see what you all see. And while I was reading about me in "About Me" I realized I'm not 19 anymore. I don't think I've quite comprehended that I'm 20 years old yet. I turned 20 RIGHT before camp chaos and never had time to sit back and reflect on it. OH MY GOD I'M TWENTY! I've been here for two complete decades, it just feels so surreal. Like twenty is old, all of a sudden you're an adult. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love it, it's just WHERE ARE MY TEEN YEARS?! Did I take care of them? Did I do all the right things? I feel like a new fad are these "Dear 16-year-old me" letters where people write to their teenage selves telling them things they should have done, worried less about or even worried more about. I thought this was a pretty silly idea since I think I did just fine. Yea, I made mistakes and I was crazy sometimes but that was a necessary part of my life that helped me to grow up. Do I really need to write a letter to myself rehashing all my teenage drama and telling myself what went wrong and what could have gone better?

Well I'll write one anyways since we're on the topic.

Dear 14-year-old Dee,

You're pretty crazy and I know that when you hear that you may get a little offended cause you're pretty sensitive (and you will always be for the most part, but you learn to deal with it) but that craziness will mature into pure enthusiasm and drive and makes you you! A lot of things are going to change, but you should know that change is an amazing thing. You're going to try to be cool and unique and wear long sleeve shirts with your uniform, or just not wear it all and you will be caught but you'll never get in trouble, promise. You will never become a famous cellist, but you probably already knew that since you've stopped practicing already. There's nothing you should worry about, you are young, funny, smart, friendly. You will make mistakes, a lot of them, but you won't let them hold you down (maybe for a little bit but not for long). You are great and you will be great. And that's all there is to it.