Friday, August 12, 2011

Creepazoid

Okay, so strange things have been happening lately and they have been getting worse and worse and I am going to try to keep this as anonymous as possible. I have this friend who's a he and I've been friends with for a LONG time, I'm talking 9 years here. And if you know anything about friendships or relationships at all you will know that after that amount of time the only thing really keeping you as friends is knowing how to tolerate each other (a nicer way of putting it could be a deep understanding for one another...but really it's tolerating).

This friend of mine has always been a bit awkward in every category of life. Girls, sports, friends, going out, drinking, religion, ANYTHING really and he'll have an awkward stance on it somehow. But we've always found that appealing I guess? And kind of funny in that warm fuzzy, aren't you adorable and really awkward kind of way. But for the past year and a half I'd say something turned for the complete, and utter worse. He has taken his awkwardness and used it for pure creepy, evil.

At first he began asking questions about people's significant others and I mean PERSONAL questions. Then he started sparking conversation with girls (which was pretty exciting cause he's awkward remember). And we were all really excited....until it got weird. There seemed to be a pattern, he would always get in contact with girls who had just gotten out of a relationship, perhaps the saving a damsel in distress type? And he proceeded to eventually bring up totally awkward things like, "you seem really stressed....I give good massages you know". This was all sort of funny, then it got kinda gross, but we shoved it under the carpet just like any good relationship, but then I had enough.

While at a meeting for work a girl leaned over to me and said "can I talk to you about something?...It's (HIM)". I was almost expecting it. This had been occurring so frequently that it felt like a disease spreading. The HIM virus. And now what is the point of all this you ask? Although I have spared you from very important details (some juicy ones none the less) things are getting heavy and I don't know how the HECK you approach something like this. And I'm sure no one else will either since this is so very vague but I needed to get it off my chest (I'm sure he'd find some sick innuendo for that there).

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